year one

photos by : HarmonyLynnPhotography

Before we got married we were bombarded with advice — some good, some bad, some relatable, some questionable. One thing I heard a lot of is that the first year is the hardest, but to be honest I didn’t feel that way at all. And it’s not because “nothing changed but a piece of paper” because we went through the most changes a relationship can have. I mean…hello, we brought home a baby and if that isn’t the biggest change of them all, IDK what is.

Anyways, this past Sunday we celebrated our first anniversary and I would love to share with you some things I have learned throughout our first year of marriage! I’m mainly writing this so I can look back in a few years and remember how knowledgeable I became within the first year. Kidding. But it will be nice to reflect on what I thought was “important” and if any of this follows you into your own relationship than that’s even more of win for me!

  • I have learned not to sweat the small stuff. Who cares if he leaves his socks on the floor or if you load the dishwasher differently. There are things that my husband does that annoy me and there are things that I do that annoy him. They usually are super petty things and I have found that it’s so much easier to just put the forks in the dishwasher the way he likes it or pick up his socks than to sit around annoyed about it. Pick your battles (that was part of the “good” advice we were given)
  • I have learned to respect our differences. I wake up early. He likes to sleep in. He is more of a homebody, I’m not. We are pretty different in a lot of ways so for us it was better to find a balance than to try and adjust to be the “same”.
  • I have learned that love is supportive. Most of you probably know, my husband has been on American Ninja Warrior 3x and plans on competing..…forever. If he wants to take the weekend to travel for a competition, that’s okay with me. If I have to pick the baby up from the rock climbing gym after work so he can get an extra hour of training in, that’s okay with me. This is very important to him and I am committed to supporting him.
  • I have learned to make time for myself. Some people may find this strange but we do not go to bed together and we do not wake up together.  I enjoy waking up earlier in the morning to drink coffee and have my alone time and he will stay up an hour later at night to have his alone time. This wasn’t necessarily intentional, but it’s what works for us. I feel that having that alone time is crucial.
  • I have learned that finances don’t have to be difficult. Say what? This is one thing people always talk about being a “stressor” when getting married. Before we got married we had a joint bank account and our own bank accounts. We chose to keep it that way once we got married. We use the joint account to pay bills or to pay for anything we do together and we have our separate accounts for anything else. Not the “norm” but it works great for us! And ladies… this means he can’t tell how much I spent at Home Goods if you catch my drift 😉
  • I have learned that you don’t have to communicate immediately. Communication. The key to marriage. And yes, it is soo important. If there’s an issue then 10000% you need to address it. However, for me, I have found that it’s better if I take a moment, an hour, or even a day to figure out my exact thoughts before I start blurting out emotional nonsense to try and get my point across.

So far, marriage has been so wonderful! Writing this little synopses kind of makes me want to do a reflection each year. So, maybe if you stick around with me until next year I’ll have some more things I have learned to share with you.  I’d love to read what you learned throughout your years of marriage or relationship. Share with me in the comments!

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