here we grow again

Hey y’all!

When I started this blog I wanted it for 2 reasons. 1 – to share my thoughts with y’all, with the goal that if I could help one person then I have done what I set out to do. & 2 – so I could document life, and things that are important to me in this moment.

Most of you have read/seen our announcement, but if you haven’t we are expecting a new little bundle of joy!

With this pregnancy, my intentions are to use this blog as a gate keeper for my thoughts, experiences and emotions. Ill always keep it as PG as possible but ima go ahead and throw out the disclaimer that pregnancy is something that happens to the human body, so if you don’t want to read about the details of mine then you probably want to steer clear.

LETS HAVE ANOTHER BABY

Cas and I knew that we wanted for our children to be close in age before we even started trying for Maverick. About 2 weeks postpartum Cas started hinting he was ready to try again…just kidding. It was actually 6 months postpartum but in my mind it was sooner than that. I was still breastfeeding and my cycle had not returned so I would tell him there was no point in trying yet. While I knew this was true, it was also my stalling tactic because tbh, I wasn’t ready. The baby making conversation became a weekly talk, and at 9 months postpartum I decided I may never be ready so I started considering it more.

Mine and Mavericks breastfeeding journey was coming to an end so I knew my cycle would be coming back any moment. I went and bought ovulation strips so I could track that to increase our chances of getting pregnant. To my freak-show-planner nature, the week I bought the strips was the exact week I was ovulating. So we gave it a go! But 2 weeks later, my cycle started. I plugged the period into my tracker app and we waited.

May 14, the app says 10/10 fertile. I took an ovulation test and it said high but it wasn’t 100% positive. We gave things a try anyways. 2 weeks passed, I took a pregnancy test which was negative. Another week passed, my cycle still hadn’t started. Weird. Another week passed, my cycle still hadn’t started. I chalked it up to just not being regulated yet.

June 3rd, I posted this picture on my Instagram story. A girl I know messaged me and said “you knoooowww that means you are pregnant or about to be pregnant.” SAY WHAT?? She further explained that it’s an old wives tale and to look it up. So I did, google explains that the tale says they do that because they are calling for their siblings to come play. I thought hmmm, and decided to take another test. That second line slowly appeared. I took it to Cas and was like am I crazy or do you see the second line. “Yes. Definitely see a second line” he said. Instant stomach drop. I couldn’t believe it. I had feelings I’ve never felt before and if I can be honest, they weren’t all positive. I was scared and nervous. Though it’s exactly what we wanted, the thought of having a 18 month old and a newborn can give you a little dose of anxiety. After about 16 other positive tests, it was confirmed. And all the excitement set in.

WEEKS 4-6

Exhaustion is an understatement. When I get home from work I’m lucky to make it 2 hours before I’m headed to bed. I remember being tired with Maverick but this definitely has been on a different level.

Weird dreams. I don’t remember these starting so early last time, but I’ve already had a couple. The ones where you wake up with one eyebrow raised. What is my brain thinking about in there?

Sunday, June 16th, I was sick ALL night long. I was never sick with Maverick. So I was starting to think “ok, well this must be it. This is what good ol’ pregnancy sickness is like”. Come to find out I just had food poisoning, which Maverick ended up getting as well. It was brutal.

Overall, things are going smoothly!

OB TIME

This first appointment is always a little nerve wrecking but exciting. You get to see the little peanut for the first time! The ultrasound was up first. She’s moving her probe around “well here’s the sac, everything looks like a good set up, and there’s the little baby” She does the measuring, tracks the heartbeat. “118” she says. Perfectly healthy.

This technician was more detailed than the one I had with Maverick. She showed me which ovary the baby came from, and the little sac in my ovary that’s giving the baby nutrients until the placenta takes over. Which was cool because I’m totally naive to the reproductive system so I didn’t even know that was a thing, lol.

Then I saw the doctor. This was a newer doctor in the practice I go to, so I have never met him before. He confirmed the due date of 2/12/20. Asked a few questions. Then asked if I had any. I said I just have one thing, “I am terrified of having this baby in the car” If you didn’t read Mavericks birth story, or haven’t heard it. I had him very fast. We went over my options, and he was trying to reassure me “it’s still early, we have plenty of time to figure that out.” Yes, but that’s plenty of time of me to be terrified. *cue the drama* but that’s just how I am.

All was good. Next appointment in 1 month.

EARLY ANNOUNCEMENT

I am going on 7 weeks now. And as you know, I already made the PSA. The “normal” announcement is made around 12 weeks, or during the second trimester. This is when your chances of miscarriage are significantly lower. I don’t think that a miscarriage could not happen to me. But if it does, I am okay with explaining it to others. It’s an extremely unfortunate event but I don’t see any shame in it, or talking about it. Not only would I want support from my loved ones, but I don’t want to have to hide any early symptoms, why I look like I ate one too many tacos or most of all, my excitement!!

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